What Happens When “I Love You” Turns into “I Trust You with My Finances” for Finance-Savvy Gen Z Couples

In the past, suggesting a prenuptial agreement was seen as a sign of mistrust, as if love alone wasn’t enough—especially when dealing with how to set up finances as a couple. Yet these agreements have existed for over two millennia. Now, Gen Z is reviving the practice: “I love you” is increasingly followed by “Can we pool our finances?” More than half of Canadian Gen Zers insist on a prenup agreement before fully committing. They view such agreements as safeguards, since debt worries, spending disputes, and financial disagreements frequently drive couples apart. Understanding the stakes, recognizing common dealbreakers, and learning strategies to address money-related conflicts can help partners stay united.

Why Money Matters More to Gen Z

Gen Z has grown up facing skyrocketing tuition bills, out-of-reach housing costs, and a generally shaky economy. It’s no surprise, then, that many young Canadians put financial stability near the top of their relationship checklist. In fact, a recent TD Bank Group survey shows that 52 percent of Gen Zers wouldn’t even think about moving in together or tying the knot without a prenup or cohabitation agreement—compared to just 31 percent of all Canadians—because they worry that hidden debts or totally different spending habits could erode trust later on.

Couples-therapy expert Preeti Taneja notes in NowTorornto that many young partners now view prenuptial and cohabitation agreements as tools for ensuring both parties fully understand each other’s financial background and expectations. In her experience, today’s relationships are tangled up with everything from family expectations and cultural norms to constantly shifting roles—so getting a clear financial plan in place right from the start can avoid a lot of headaches down the line.

All of this points to one thing: Gen Z isn’t afraid to talk about money early on. By having those sometimes awkward conversations up front, they’re trying to shield themselves—and each other—from nasty surprises when it comes to finances

Common Financial Dealbreakers

Even beyond prenups and net worth, several money-related issues frequently trigger breakups for Gen Z and other Canadians:

• Financial Dishonesty: Around 71 percent of Canadians say they’d consider ending a relationship if they discovered their partner lied about money (e.g., hidden credit-card debt or undisclosed side gigs).
  

• Refusal to Share Expenses: Roughly 65 percent of Canadians find it a dealbreaker if their partner never offers to cover any shared costs—whether splitting dinner bills or contributing to rent.
  

• Poor Spending Habits: More than half (56 percent) say bad spending choices (impulse purchases, no savings) would be enough to walk away. When one partner consistently overspends on nonessentials, the other may feel anxious or disrespected.

Challenges Couples Face Around Money

Putting Off “The Money Talk”

Even when couples know money matters, bringing it up can feel awkward. It’s easy to put off diving into bank statements or debt conversations until after you’ve moved in together or gotten engaged. By that point, you might already be sharing bills or pooling daily expenses, and any hidden debts—like a quietly mounting credit-card balance or unmentioned student loans—can lurk in the background. When these things finally surface, they often spark arguments about trust and fairness. Having a quick, honest chat early on—deciding whether to keep separate accounts, open a combined checking account, or split bills by percentage—can spare you those nasty surprises. Taking a few minutes to talk about each other’s income, savings goals, and any outstanding debts might feel uncomfortable, but it paves the way for real financial transparency.

Clashing Spending vs. Saving Priorities

Picture this: one partner grew up believing that building a healthy emergency fund and saving for retirement are top priorities, while the other thinks it’s perfectly fine to use credit cards to cover streaming subscriptions, dinners out, or weekend trips. If you never talk about these differences, simple choices—like where to grab dinner on a Friday or how much to budget for a vacation—can turn into daily arguments. For example, if Partner A sets aside $200 each month for savings but Partner B blows that on a shopping spree, resentment will build. Over time, one person starts to feel like they’re carrying more of the “grown-up” financial load and wonders if they share the same long-term goals. Concepts like “financial alignment” and “value congruence” are just fancy ways of saying you need to talk about what money means to each of you—security, freedom, comfort, status—and find a middle ground. Working out a simple budget together—allocating money for rent, groceries, individual “fun funds,” and joint savings—makes those expectations clear. Asking questions like, “What do we value most? A bigger emergency cushion, frequent travel, or saving up for a house?” turns vague worries into a concrete plan you both can agree on.

Family and Cultural Pressures

Talking about a prenup can still feel taboo in many families. Some parents push for a prenuptial agreement to protect family assets or keep inheritance in the bloodline. Others think bringing up a prenup is unromantic or cynical—like true love shouldn’t need a contract. If one partner’s family insists on a prenup without letting the couple discuss it privately, it’s easy to feel resentful. That partner might wonder, “Do my in-laws not trust me to take care of their child?” Meanwhile, the other partner feels torn between backing their family and standing by their future spouse. This tug-of-war can strain a relationship well before any wedding planning begins.

Cultural norms add another layer. In some traditions, it’s expected that assets stay separate until after the wedding; in others, pooling resources right away is the norm. Navigating these conflicting expectations means having clear, empathetic conversations. Couples need to ask each other questions like, “What does a prenup mean to you? Is this about protection, or do you feel mistrusted?” Understanding each other’s perspective—and why families value or oppose a prenup—can turn a potentially heated topic into a moment of shared understanding. Bringing in a neutral third party—like a family lawyer or financial counselor—can help bridge those generational or cultural gaps. These professionals explain how prenups work, what they typically cover (assets, debts, inheritance), and why signing one doesn’t mean you don’t love or trust your partner. Framing the conversation around mutual protection can transform a tense subject into a collaborative exercise in building trust.

Strategies to Overcome Financial Conflicts

Begin the Dialogue Sooner Rather Than Later

Don’t wait until you’re knee-deep in shared bills to talk money. Plan a casual “money check-in” a few months into dating—maybe over coffee or a walk in the park. Ask something like, “How did you learn about money growing up?” Sharing your stories can reveal values you didn’t even realize were there and help prevent awkward surprises down the road. When you discuss concerns, frame them around how you feel. For instance, say, “I get anxious when I don’t know how much we’ve spent this month,” instead of pointing fingers with, “You spend too much.”

Build a Simple, Joint Budget

Choose one tool—a shared spreadsheet or a user-friendly app—to keep track of both joint costs (rent, groceries) and personal “fun money.” The key is transparency: seeing everything in one place cuts down on misunderstandings. If your incomes differ, consider dividing bills based on what each person earns. For example, if one of you makes $60,000 a year and the other $40,000, splitting bills in a 60/40 ratio makes sure both contribute fairly.

Define Your Dealbreakers Early

Sit down together and write a list of three things each of you absolutely needs from a partner’s money approach—no secret debts, a promise to talk through big purchases, or a plan for paying off student loans. Compare your lists to see where you’re already on the same page and where you might need to find middle ground.

Treat Prenups as a Safety Net, Not a Sign of Doubt

When bringing up a prenup, frame it as “this helps both of us feel protected if life throws a curveball—like job loss, health issues, or family inheritance.” That way, it doesn’t come off as “I don’t trust you.” Instead of going solo, schedule a single meeting with a neutral lawyer who knows prenups and cohabitation agreements. Having that expert there from the start means both of you get a say, making it much easier to agree on terms that feel fair.

Seek Professional Support When Needed

• Couples Therapy: A therapist (e.g., at Canadian Therapy) can help uncover deep-rooted beliefs—like repeating a parent’s “scarcity mindset” or avoiding difficult conversations—and guide you through them.

  
  

• Financial Coaching: A certified financial planner (CFP) can create a joint roadmap—covering debt-repayment strategies, saving for a down payment, and retirement planning. As TD Wealth’s Nicole Ewing points out, “Working together with your partner to tackle money conversations head-on can bring understanding and clarity in your relationship and financial future.”

For many Gen Z Canadians, money conversations are no longer optional—they’re central to deciding whether to date, move in, or marry. Rather than letting debt worries, spending disagreements, or family pressures drive you apart, couples can:

1. Talk early about personal money histories and expectations.

2. Build a simple, shared budget that reflects each partner’s income and goals.

3. Set clear boundaries around dealbreakers (hidden debt, dishonest spending).

4. Approach prenups as tools for mutual protection, not mistrust.

5. Seek professional support—therapy or financial coaching—when stuck.

   
   

By adopting these strategies, Gen Z couples can transform potential dealbreakers into opportunities for deeper understanding and trust. Instead of delaying “the money talk,” start it now—and build a relationship where financial transparency and teamwork strengthen your bond.